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So its Thanksgiving and my dad's got our Thanksgiving HAM cooking (not turkey) and mashed yams are boiling. My folks are talking and chatting about their wedding and when they were married. My dad gives me the talk about how he married my mother 2 months after dating her in December 1985, and how I come into the world May 1986...hmmm that doesn't seem right. If my folks were married in December 1985 and i was born in May 1986 thats 6 months after they married I came along...then that would mean they had...to...get...married....
Yes, thats correct, I found out that the reason why I was never accepted in my WHOLE family was because I was conceived out of wedlock! And all this while waiting for dinner in front of my family. Don't you just love Thanksgiving...
~ShaneCurrent Mood:  crushed Current Music: Something Emo will do... |
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First thing I shall say is that I desire no pity but only understanding.
I am right now hollow, I can't explain why but I am to believe it has to do with the closest friend I have ever had. To me friendship has to do with loyalty, honor, and trust, I hold these very high. Anyways straight to the point, I told her the truth about her cheating boyfriend in hope that she would see him for what he was. Unfornately this was the worse mistake I could have ever made, she cares more for him then I reliezed and she believes all the BS he tells her. It pains me so much to see her get so taken advantage of, but she is truly in love with this guy. Because of my choice to tell her the truth she has desided to disown me as a friend and more then likely the rest of my social group will follow in her action and disown me as a friend too. I have to be the most nieve, person in our social group, because I know that most of my "friends" really don't like me and if it ever came to it they would pick her, for she is sweet as chocolate and more fun to be with then silly putty.
I admit, that I was in love with her for 2 years but she never returned such emotions toward me and with time my fancy toward her diminished but I still desired to be her friend. Now though I give up, I'm sick of her using me and having me support her when her deadbeat boyfriend should. She has turned me into a sugar daddy and that really pisses me off. Don't get me wrong, I will never let her starve to death or be harmed in anyway, but I'm not going to stand by when she is only nice to me to get food or items.
I have made my choice to tell her the truth and she has made hers to stay with her BS filled, cheating boyfriend. Though the actions that come from the choices we made are sour, they can still be fixed.
Let me know what you think of this. More feed back then the more I will be able to understand why she choose what she did and why I choose what I did.
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I hate stupidity! It seems today more and more people are making stupid choices! Why are people so stupid? I say it's because people want something from the people around them, that's why they act so stupid. The make choices depending on whether or not another person will make a choice. It's bloody insanity it is. The only that makes it worse is when your friends and other ones you love become stupid. I swear there is no cure for a case of the stupids. A word of caution, if someone is being stupid, do not inter fare. It's only gonna drag you into a whirlpool of sorrow a the lost of friends and family. Of coarse I speak from of past experiences with a friend of mine who was very close to my heart. And truth is you never take caution until it happens to you. From pain we learn, live, and die, pain fills us all, if not we be no more then zombies. But again, stupidity wow I know I could deal without it, couldn't you?Current Mood: cold |
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Hate, now that's a strong word. Not only do you dislike something, but you have no positive feelings toward it. Now as human being we seem to be prone to hate, anger, and rage yet we over come it in great times of need, that's what makes us such a strong species. Unfortunately hate still exist in us. Every time we are treated with a negative response, an amount hate builds up inside. Over time hate continues to build and begins to affect us physically, such as attitude, opinion, stance, and can take forms like knots in our back to severe twitches in ligaments. I'm curious to know what stops us from completely letting loose our hate and anger, it's something but I can not recognize it. It's like a wall the holds back and at times of great pressure a crack forms in the wall and a little hate leaks out, but what if the wall was destroyed? What do we become? What would we do? Can we controllably release it? Can we convert it to something better? Who's to say. The one thing I see as a constant is that hate will never go away. Humanity needs it to survive, without it people lose a driving force in there life. We have to take all aspects of life and our humanity, good and bad. Current Mood:  contemplative |
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Love, now that's a curious notion Websters Dictionary define love as: (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> Now what I type here is by far a defiant statement, but nearly my observations. Now for some people, love isn't a matter of "if" but "when" while unfortunately the rest of us it's "if". Love, i mean real love just happens and you'll know when it happens. It wont be just for lust or lineage, you'll care for that person in a manner that is truly special. What I mean by this is say you and another fall in love, but one of you got horrible burn scars all over your face. Your other will see you as you, and the scars shall mean nothing to them. This is the power of love, some say it blinds us, I say it gives us a second sight. You see things in a person you love then you would if you didnt love them.
Now I have notice love only in mammals, and have yet to see it in reptiles or insects but again this is just my observation and I have no proof or dated facts that show reptiles know love. I wonder what our world would be like if reptiles ruled instead of mammels. Would love exist assuming that my statement about reptiles is true? Hmmm...
Well now to what I was saying, before I got myself sidetracked. We go through life with uncertainty, not knowing what's gonna happened next. However we hope for the best in our own ways, some hope for riches, some for fame, some for love. Love seems to be the most difficult most of us, everywere I look I see ad's for match making dating, speed dates, and very interesting personal ad's. It seems sad to me that people have resorted to this, but sad in the way thats people dont let love happened but choose who they love. When people choose who they like and who they love, its rare that is going to be true love. Now remember this is still my observations, none of it is dated facts.
Choice is our free will at work, and we have every right to choose. But when we choose who we love, the path lends to heart break and in deeper situations divorce. Now I have only found one person who I truly loved, and what I'm getting at here is that she did not seem to love me in return. I can understand because it's something that just happens, true love isn't based on looks. I am still human though, so yes I was angry, jealous, and envious of her and her choices but I still hold a flame in my heart for her regardless of what happens between us. Heart break is very painful because the only thing that heals a wounded heart is time. But whatever happens, remember to feel whether it be love, joy, happyiness, pain, sorrow, or guilt, is to be alive. So don't give my friends, we are all in this together, that's life.Current Mood: contemplative |
| » Ummmm...welcome to my first journal entry!!! ^.^ |
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Hi, my name is pteraghost, you can call me Tera or Mr. Ghost. I have had this live journal now for some great time but I have yet to write anything in it, mostly cause I'm scared of what people would think. Umm...right now I'm going to school for 3d animation but my skills lie in computer programing and networking. I have what I call the KNACK, basically if a piece of technology stop working I just merely touch it and it works again! However this doesn't work all the time, I say it works 90% of the time. But ya I love technology from calculators to pagers to GPS's. Not much more to say at this point, I'm really ill and I have an assignment due tomarrow >.< I hate being sick!!!
Apr. 11th, 2007 @ 10:25 pm
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